um because you asked, obvious mistakes i noticed:

- and she’d hear him him pressing keys with his chubby fingers
- also you used a couple of 's for plural forms, but i think you'll spot those when you reread. :)
- smelling if cigarette smoke and soju and carrying a bunch of playboy magazines

uh, prob missed a whole lot more because i was too busy just reading, lol. anyway. okay, i have to say now. SHUSH WITH THE SELF DEPRECATION. this is fabulous.

i really loved the way you described jonghun's feelings during debut, with him agonizing over not being able to play live, because i think that's something that while they know they have no control over, they still get really frustrated about. especially in the early days, when they probably though they had so much to prove, but couldn't.

Fighter Wonbin, strong man, the manly member in the group
wonbin's manly image is such comedy to me now, idek, hahahahahaha. i can't rly take him seriously anymore hahahahahaha. although that scene with him and jonghun was a little heartbreaking. especially the "he's a co-worker" line. i know that's probably what idols are first and foremost if i look at them objectively, but stiill. :( AND OMG BABY MINHWAN :'((((

i also love the gradual growth of jonghun's feelings, his denial, and his eventual acceptance, and the way he deals with it. aaaaahhh kit i really like this, i feel like i can't say this enough.

Only music and girls and how cute they are and being manly for them because that was what guys were supposed to do. Be manly. Unlike he was.
AND THIS LINE IS PERFECT. because while i really believe that irl jonghun is a player, and is inherently interested in girls (not to mention he seems like he knows his way around them), he's also the kind of guy who is so so SOOOOOO fucking concerned with his image. it's to the point that he's so fucking guarded that he just seems boring. like for example, the tweets he deletes? they're usually the ones that have to fo with hongki, although lol really seriously though to some capacity him showing emotion, or like ~personality~ like tyra would say. tweets to friends, and tweets with a hint of snark or emotion are always deleted, and all we're ever left with are the cheesy/boring stuff that are for fans. it's annoying, but that's jonghun for you. so anyway, my point is, i can see him hiding behind a certain "manly" image, which is why, as i said-- this line is perfect.

and Jonghun returned to panic mode. Another boy in his room, now, when he was trying to pay attention to his crisis.
this is also interesting, because in their early days, the rooming arrangment was hongki/jonghun/wonbin and jaejin/minhwan. and then sometime before seunghyun joined, they switched. hongki/jaejin/sometimes minhwan (because sometimes he'd sleep in the comfy living room sofabed or whatever it is) and jonghun apparently got his own room. which, you know, kinda fits with ~crisis~ dealing.

and omg the jonghun/seunghyun is so fucking precious. i don't even have words, because the relationship those two have is just. so. idk, i feel like few people get it right, if you know what i mean?

and the hongki/seunghyun with hongki slamming the door on seunghyun's face (lol) is kinda of spot-on too, because as much as seunghyun teases hongki publicly, making it look like they're on ~equal footing~, he only does that because it's the only time he can, lmao. i know he's largely felt the brunt of hongki's outbursts and mood swings. :(

There was no way Korea would ever allow them to make their own songs. There was absolutely no way.
SO PROUD THAT THEY HAVE NOW.