augmenti: (수훈。perfection step one。)
augmenti ([personal profile] augmenti) wrote2011-11-07 09:19 pm

dgna; disappearing act; hyunmin/suhoon.

Disappearing Act.
대국남아; Hyunmin/Suhoon; pg-13; 5,300 words.
One morning, Suhoon wakes up and discovers that he’s disappearing.

note: i'm terrified that i butchered the characterization, this is my first time writing them ever. :( but why is this so long? :(




Suhoon wakes up one morning to his feet feeling strangely numb, as though they’d fallen asleep and he can’t get them to wake up again. He pokes at them from underneath his blankets and when he doesn’t feel that familiar prickle of blood flow, wiggles his toes. When that doesn’t work, he pulls back his covers to inspect them.

Only to discover that his feet have disappeared. He reaches down and pokes the place where they’re supposed to be. He can still feel his skin underneath, and he can tap his fingers against the bone, and when he tickles the underside of his foot, it makes him give a very unmanly giggle. He wiggles his toes again, because he can feel them, but they’re gone, missing, lost.

He hops down from his bed and almost expects to flop on the ground, but his feet - his invisible feet - catch him. He can still feel the floorboards under his toes, though the floor is cold, so he almost wishes he couldn’t.

Not sure how he’s going to walk out of the bedroom and say “hi guys, guess what? My feet just turned invisible, how are you?” he pulls on a pair of socks over his feet. He’s relieved when they find the form of them, and wiggles his toes just to be safe. It makes him feel a little better just to see something there and figures that his feet will have to come back eventually. They’ll have to.

He doesn’t think that it could possibly spread until after dance practice, when he’s changing and he finds, with a shrill of fear, that his legs have disappeared halfway up his shins. “What the hell?” He wonders out loud, but doesn’t have a chance to think on it anymore because the others come into the locker room just then.

The first thing he does after the moment of panic, where his gut clenches and he feels like someone drenched his skin with cold water, is to put on a long sleeved sweater that goes down to his knees. He pulls a blue and black checkered scarf around his neck and a beanie on his head.

“Hey guys, have you ever heard of people disappearing?” He asks, when they’re back in the dorm later that night and he finds that he’s disappeared all the way up his thigh. At this rate, he’s going to wake up completely gone. The thought frightens him more and more and his earlier wish to keep it secret and wait is obviously not working very well.

“What, you mean like going away?” Hyunmin laughs. “Yeah, it’s called vacation.”

The look on Suhoon’s face chokes the laugh in his throat. He clears it, nervously. “What kind of disappearing?”

“Like this,” Suhoon says, and pulls off his sock.

There’s a beat of silence, and then Hyunmin laughs again. “Good one,” he reaches over and pulls up Suhoon’s pant leg. He frowns when he sees no hidden foot, and pulls it up higher and higher, continuing to reveal nothing. He puts his hand in the place Suhoon’s leg should be and yelps when it comes into contact.

“Oh my god, your leg is gone,” Injoon screams as Jihwan and Hyunchul gape. Hyunmin jerks his hand back as though stung.

“When did it start?” Hyunchul asks, leaning forward, intrigued.

“This morning,” Suhoon says. “Do you think I should go to the hospital?”

“For what, chronic disappearance?” Hyunmin snorts. “No way, this has to go away. You wouldn’t be good at being invisible. You’re too loud.” Suhoon punches him in the shoulder in retaliation. Hyunmin wraps his arm around Suhoon’s waist and pulls him close, and the proximity is the only notice Suhoon gets to know that he’s worried about him.

The moment ends a minute later, when Hyunmin pulls away and throws himself across the couch.

Suhoon scratches the back of his head with a heavy sigh and sits down on the couch, shoving Hyunmin’s feet out of the way. It doesn’t take long for Jihwan to drape himself all over him, pillowing his head in his lap and watching his face. Suhoon pretends not to notice, until Jihwan strokes his face with a finger.

“Yah,” he says softly, looking down at him. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want you to disappear, hyung.” His face twists into a frown.

Suhoon scoffs at him, staring at the tv. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

He ruffles Jihwan’s hair before he pushes him off his lap and stands up, stretching. His shirt rides up over his pants and he catches Injoon’s widened eyes from across the room. When he looks down, he finds he’s disappeared up to his abdomen.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he frowns, pulling down his shirt. Injoon looks away back to his computer, trying to pretend he wasn’t looking in the first place.

-

He spends a good ten minutes in the shower just watching the way water falls down his invisible form. Drops of water stop in midair and drip downwards against the curve of his skin. It’s the strangest thing in the world, as though someone wrapped half of his body in an invisible cloak.

At one point he looks away to start getting shampoo when he realizes that the invisibility is creeping upwards on his skin. The bottle slips through his hands and lands on the floor with a thud. He presses his fingers to his skin where it’s disappearing, but it continues to creep up right past them. He watches with a morbid sense of fascination as his belly button disappears.

It keeps going up, and up, and he presses his hands against his ribcage and pushes until it hurts, until his nails make marks that disappear as his skin disappears. He’s suddenly acutely aware of how hard it is for him to breathe and turns the water off. Instantly his skin prickles from the cold air when he opens the shower door and he dries off and dresses quickly as he can. He misses his foot twice when he tries to pull his pants on, and when he tries his socks they snag his toes.

When he walks out of the bathroom, he hears the voices from the living room stop abruptly, so he goes to bed instead, sliding his body between his the cold sheets and sighing into his pillow. He closes his eyes and wonders if he’ll even be there in the morning, or if he’s going to be gone.

-

He feels someone wriggle into his bed in the middle of the night. Their toes are freezing when they dig into the crook of his knee and he tenses, rolling over to glare at them, but when he sees Jihwan’s face, the reprimand falters on his lips.

“Hyung,” Jihwan whispers, and clutches at his tshirt. “I don’t want you to disappear,” the plea sounds even more desperate than it did before.

Suhoon presses his forehead against his and pulls at his arm. He feels Jihwan’s fingers slide against the low collar of his shirt and pull downwards. Jihwan’s eyes widen in an expression of horror that makes Suhoon look down, and he almost regrets it when he finds that he’s disappeared up to his collarbone.

“Hyung,” Jihwan’s voice is hushed and so horrified that Suhoon pulls him into a hug before he knows what he’s even doing.

“Don’t worry, I’ll always be here,” he says, and touches their foreheads together. “Like this, you see?” Jihwan’s eyes go crossed as they look into his at the close proximity, and ends up smiling.

“You’re so mushy,” he complains, and drops his head down to his shoulder. He can feel his heartbeat against his skin. It makes his skin crawl with fear, because the truth is, he’s frightened, too.

An hour later, he crawls out of bed, unable to sleep, and pads out into the living room. He passes the table full of Japanese notes and the couch, which still has Hyunmin’s guitar on it and opens the door to the balcony. He sits on the cold floor with his back to the glass and watches planes flying above the skyscrapers.

He’s just starting to fall asleep when there’s a quiet tap at the door. He turns around, and suddenly, Hyunmin’s face is there. He moves away from the glass and he joins him on the floor, sitting back against the door with a sigh. Suhoon looks back towards the sky.

“It’s so strange,” Hyunmin says, splaying one leg out against the floor and raising his hand to Suhoon’s neck. The warmth makes him swallow hard. He manages a smile.

“You’re telling me?” He says, and glances over at him.

Hyunmin’s eyes are frighteningly dark except for the reflection of the city lights. He’s suddenly way too close, but he can’t pull back away until after Hyunmin’s lips are on him. His hand is still curled into the crook of his neck and his thumb brushes his jawline in a gentle caress. Way too gentle for Hyunmin. He’s not sure when his eyes slip closed, but he finds himself opening them after Hyunmin breaks the kiss for air.

“We’ll figure this out,” Hyunmin says, and Suhoon laughs.

“You kissed me to tell me that?” He pulls back and reaches out to tug on his earlobe when he stops dead when he realizes that his arm has disappeared except for half of the palm. He brings it closer to examine it. “I’m going to be gone by dawn,” he mumbles, and looks at the still-dark sky.

Hyunmin pulls him closer - too close - but he finds he doesn’t mind it just this once. He doesn’t know when he’ll be hugged again, after all.

“Everyone’s worried,” Hyunmin whispers against the ear that’s going to disappear before too long. His finger traces the line around his neck where he’s disappeared, or so Suhoon assumes.

“I know, Jihwan’s in my bed. So much for disappearing quietly,” Suhoon chuckles, leaning his head against his long-time friend. Hyunmin whacks him in the shoulder - too hard. He winces. “Ow,” he whines, turning to look at him again. Hyunmin breaks his complaint off with another kiss.

He leans into this one, his heart beating like a bass. He twists his fingers into Hyunmin’s shirt and nibbles at his bottom lip, tasting salt and a bit of toothpaste. His tongue slips into his mouth and he tilts his chin upwards. Hyunmin’s nose brushes against the side of his and he breaks off the kiss, touching their foreheads together. His arms wrap around Suhoon and squeeze him so hard, like he’s afraid he’ll disappear.

Suhoon clings back, because for all he knows, this might be the last time anyone can ever hug him again.

“This sucks,” Hyunmin growls in his ear, and Suhoon laughs, touching his lips to the side of his neck.

“You’re telling me,” he murmurs. “Stay with me until the sun comes up?”

Hyunmin presses his hands against the sides of his face and gently caresses his cheeks with his thumbs. His gaze when he stares into his eyes is intense, but Suhoon can’t bring himself to look away. “Of course.”

-

Suhoon disappears as the sun comes up. At first it’s almost sort of fun, he can take off his clothes and walk around scaring the members. At first they tell management that he had to go home for urgent business, but a week passes and they start to get suspicious when Hyunchul starts to set a place for him at mealtimes.

At night he slinks into Hyunmin’s bed and presses himself against his back and wraps his arms around his waist. He feels Hyunmin tense up at first before he relaxes.

“You’re like a ghost,” Hyunmin whispers, rolling over to stare at the nothingness that greets him. He reaches out a hand and slowly pushes the air forward until Suhoon touches it with his cheek. “I miss you.” He says, and Suhoon sighs against his hand.

“Don’t be such a baby, I’m right here,” he gripes, biting his thumb, hard. He’s gotten used to being invisible as well as he possibly can. “Just close your eyes.” Hyunmin snorts at him, but closes his eyes anyway. Suhoon shifts against him and presses the gentlest kisses he can against his closed eyelids and nose before touching them to his lips.

“Wow,” Hyunmin says, hands fumbling for Suhoon’s sides and holding him by his lovehandles. “This works. I can see you in my mind, or something.”

“That’s dirty,” Suhoon frowns, whacking him in the chest a little too hard, straddling him. I don’t want to know what you’re fantasizing.” Hyunmin laughs and flips them so he’s on top and straddles Suhoon’s legs instead. In the darkness, when Hyunmin’s eyes are clamped closed, he almost feels normal. He wraps his arms around his neck as Hyunmin presses a desperate kiss to his lips, slipping his tongue in his mouth. He kisses back, just as needy, and feels heat through his veins.

Hyunmin’s hands are rough against his skin as they make love, and Suhoon’s mind is still a little fuzzy. Hyunmin’s arm is wrapped around his waist, the other hand cupping his cheek. Suhoon traces his collarbone with his finger, hazily.

“Don’t open your eyes until morning,” he murmurs. Hyunmin visibly flinches.

“I won’t,” he swallows, hard, and Suhoon watches him closely, all night long until the morning alarms start to go off.

When Hyunchul’s goes off first, Suhoon kisses Hyunmin on the forehead and disentangles himself from his limbs. He showers as quickly as he can and while he dresses, he can hear Hyunchul rustling around in the kitchen. He dries himself off and walks out into the kitchen naked.

He drifts behind him as Hyunchul goes back and forth in the kitchen, making breakfast, and watches him plug in the rice cooker before going away. Pressing his lips together so he doesn’t laugh, he pulls it out of the wall.

Hyunchul plugs it in absently five more times, each time having it unplugged, before he catches on to what’s going on. “Hyung, stop it,” he complains, splashing water at him. “We’re going to be late and you’re going to ruin the rice.”

Suhoon sticks his tongue out at him, which of course Hyunchul can’t see, and walks off to put on clothes because it’s cold to wander around without them. He also can’t get used to the idea of being naked and around others, no matter how close he is to them.

During breakfast, everyone seems down until Hyunchul gets the bright idea to try to cover him with make up. They cake it on so heavily that it works a little, with heavy clothes and hats and gloves over his hands and socks on his feet. He dons sunglasses to hide his lack of eyes. Hyunchul finds a type of lipstick that looks exactly the same color as his lips, but it just looks silly without his lips behind it, so he wears a mask over his face instead.

“There,” Hyunchul says, sitting back. “It’s like you’re still here.”

“This is stupid,” Suhoon crosses his arms over his chest, but Injoon pulls him into a hug so tight, squealing in his ear, that he almost doesn’t mind. He shoves halfheartedly at him but then Jihwan joins in and he stops trying. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, it’s kind of nice having someone to hug him after being alone so long.

“It’s like you’re here,” Injoon smiles in his ear. Suhoon rolls his eyes and wraps his arms around their waists. He sees Hyunmin smile in the mirror and smiles back, although he can’t see it because of the stupid mask.

“I’ve always been here,” he murmurs, but no one listens. For the rest of the day Hyunchul preens about being the one to come up with it, but by the time dance practice comes around, all Suhoon wants to do is rip off the mask, throw the scarf on the ground, tear off the sweater and use it to wipe off the make up, because it’s itchy and it’s hot and it’s uncomfortable and all he wants to do is die.

“I’m so glad we’re not 2pm,” he groans after dying on the floor. “Can you imagine choreography like that? I’d die from overheating.” Jihwan laughs at him and pulls at his glove.

“Come on, hyung, it’s easy, you can do this.”

“I’m going to die,” he deadpans. “It’s going to be all your fault.”

“If you do, we’ll just undress you, no one will ever find the body.” Hyunmin laughs in his ear.

Suhoon glares daggers at him the entire rest of the day until they get home.

“I’m showering first,” he says, and eagerly strips off the many layers and watches the heavy dosage of make up disappear down the drain. When he comes out with only pajama pants on, he’s toweling his hair dry.

“Done,” he shouts, and the others look round at the voice that comes from nowhere. “Me next, me next,” Hyunchul shrieks, and runs into the bathroom before anyone else can say anything. Suhoon takes a seat on the couch and pulls his legs up. He sees Injoon staring at his pants and looks with a frown.

There’s nothing there, and when he looks back up, Injoon is looking at his computer again. Hyunmin plops down on the couch and kicks his feet out and smacks Suhoon in the chin.

“Ow,” he snaps, “watch it,” he shoves Hyunmin’s feet off the couch.

“Sorry,” Hyunmin says, sheepish. He stares at a place down before his clavicle. “I didn’t see you there,” he snickers. Suhoon straddles him around the chest and attempts to kill him with a pillow.

“It hurt so much and you did it on purpose,” he shrieks, smacking him in the chest until Hyunmin grabs at his wrists. He takes a few tries to actually grab them but once he does he holds on a little too tightly.

“So what,” Hyunmin says. “It’s not like anyone will see the bruise.” Suhoon bites him on the lip to get him to shut up. Hyunmin pulls back after a startled yelp. “What the fuck, Suhoon,” he frowns. Suhoon gets up in a huff and turns on one of the laptops instead, bad mood seething through his teeth.

He’s goes through message-boards and they do nothing to make him feel any better. Fans wondering why he hasn’t been around, wondering if somethings going on, and he notes that their efforts today have been in vain. He sits back against the chair and bites at his nail before he can stop himself, and when he notices he pulls his hands away and sits on them, as though it matters.

They’re all worried, he can see it in their faces when they look round at his voice. As the days wear on, one after the other, the coolness factor wears off. Hyunchul snaps at him when he turns off the grill one day, and forgets to set him a place at the table another. One day he doesn’t get out of bed in the morning, and none of them notice.

When he gives Hyunmin a kiss one night, after being forgotten all day, Hyunmin says crossly, “I’m studying.” Beside him, Jihwan looks up and goes right back to scribbling in his notebook. Injoon doesn’t even look up when he tickles the back of his neck.

Later, Jihwan accidentally stumbles over his leg while he’s dancing in the living room and Hyunchul snaps at him. “Hyung, don’t trip people.” He helps Jihwan up.

“I didn’t mean to,” he frowns, tucking his feet in.

“No one else can see you,” Injoon reminds him. “You’re like a ghost, hyung, so you have to be careful, right?”

“Right,” he frowns, and tucks his feet underneath him. He’s sulking on the balcony, watching the stars again, when Jihwan joins him.

“Sorry for tripping over you, hyung.” He says, sitting down next to him. Suhoon moves his hand so he doesn’t sit on it.

“I’m the one who forgot,” Suhoon says, swallowing. He has his chin propped up on his knees and is ignoring the ache in his back. He looks at Jihwan, who’s watching a satellite pass behind a skyscraper. “I’m being forgotten,” he mumbles.

“Never, hyung.” Jihwan says, and stretches his hand out until it touches his arm. He feels around it for a while until he finds his shoulder, and uses it as a point of reference to lean his cheek on. “I won’t, I promise.”

Suhoon laughs, “Maybe not now, but maybe later, you will. Out of sight, out of mind, right?”

Jihwan frowns at him and butts him in the shoulder with his head. “Not funny, hyung.”

“I thought so,” he shrugs, and obviously doesn’t mean it.

“I hope this wears off soon,” Jihwan says. “I know it has to.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Suhoon asks. “The managers already want to know where I am. I can’t be a singer and be invisible all at the same time.”

“It’ll work out hyung, you’ll see.” Jihwan pats him on the shoulder. “We’re a family, okay?”

-

But Suhoon doesn’t see, the more time goes on. In the morning, he watches Hyunmin open his eyes and realize that the body he’s holding really isn’t there. It puts him in a bad mood the rest of the day, and although he’d tried to hide it at first, time reveals everything, especially when you’re invisible.

The managers go crazy trying to figure out where he’s gone, and rather than tell them what really happened, no one can bring themselves to say it. The company covers it up by making another subunit. Suhoon watches them perform on the couch, and at the end, they shout to him, but he can’t feel the feelings behind it. The fans make up conspiracy theories and none of them make him smile.

One day, he tells himself he wont stick around anymore. He’ll stop watching Hyunmin’s eyes every morning, he’ll stop kissing him at night. He’ll stop teasing Hyunchul and he’ll stop calling Jisang and Gwangchul when he feels lonely. He’ll stop it all, pack a bag, and leave.

“What if you don’t come back?” Hyunmin asks one night, eyes clamped closed and Suhoon’s breath tickling his cheeks. “I’m tired of this,” he frowns.

“Me too,” Suhoon sighs. His stomach growls. He wonders if he’s gained a lot of weight, and wonders how many weeks he’ll have to spend dieting afterwards. He’s eaten less and less the longer it’s gone on, because he doesn’t want to come back and be too fat, because he’s not active aside from the singing he suddenly finds time for.

“I know you’re here, but I feel like you’re not.” He frowns. “It’s been months.” Hyunmin threads his fingers through his hair and pulls at them until his hair drifts off his fingers. “Your hair is getting split ends,” he smirks. “It’s long.”

“Shut up,” Suhoon frowns, fingers drifting over Hyunmin’s chest and down his abdomen, tracing softly over the curve of the muscles and bone that make up his person. “I can’t exactly get it cut, can I?”

Hyunmin’s fingers trace the curve of Suhoon’s cheek. “You’re thin,” he murmurs. “Too thin.”

Suhoon smiles. “I’m disappearing again,” he laughs, but the comment makes him feel a little better.

Hyunmin pinches his cheek. “There’s barely anything to pinch,” he frowns. “Eat more, or you really will.” He hugs him. “I don’t want you to die. What if you hurt yourself and we can’t find you? Or if you cut yourself and bleed, I won’t be able to fix it. What if you really do die?”

Suhoon sighs, pressing his head against his shoulder. “I won’t die,” he mumbles.

“What?”

Suhoon lifts his head. “I won’t. I promise.” He kisses him soundly, tilting his chin to deepen it. He wonders if Hyunmin can taste his sincerity or if he can taste anything at all. Do invisible lips have taste? He doesn’t want to ask, he’s afraid to know the answer. He feels Hyunmin finally works his lips against his. But this time, when they pull apart, he opens his eyes.

Suhoon freezes, and so does Hyunmin. The expression in Hyunmin’s face makes Suhoon want to cry. Hyunmin pulls away and rolls over to the other side of the small bed and Suhoon feels cold as though he’d been standing in the street in the middle of winter, naked.

Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he buries his face in his pillow and curls in on himself. When his knees accidentally brush with Hyunmin’s back, Hyunmin shifts to move away until he’s pressed up against the wall.

He’s surprised that it took this long for Hyunmin to open his eyes in the middle of the night and realize that it’s not magic, that he doesn’t come back to visibility at night. He wishes, oh, how he wishes, but it’s not so. Suhoon frowns, clenching a fist he can’t see in front of his nose and nibbling at his thumbnail. He accidentally bites his thumb at first, but he doesn’t care. He falls asleep watching Hyunmin’s chest rise and fall and wonders if he’s fallen asleep yet or not.

-

He refuses to open his eyes the next morning, even after the alarms all go off. Hyunmin gets up last, rolling over and gruffly slapping at it without opening his eyes. The noise dies with one last wail from 2pm’s Junsu. Suhoon tenses when he feels him shift up in the bed, and he wonders if he’s opened his eyes yet or not.

“Oh my god,” Hyunmin whispers. Suhoon slaps an arm in his direction when Hyunmin’s hand touches his shoulder. “Suhoon,” his voice is frantic and he considers taking a peek, but he’s still mad about last night. “Suhoon!” He wraps his hand around his arm and pulls him up.

He groans, letting his head roll around his shoulders before he lifts his head up. “What?” He glares through his hair.

His breath dies in his throat. Hyunmin’s staring at him. Not through him, not in his general direction, but at him. Right into his eyes and staring at his soul, bared open for him. Suhoon looks down, at his body, at his rumpled Pajama’s that aren’t empty but actually have something. He stares.

“I’m visible,” he whispers, and Hyunmin gives a loud bark of a laugh that makes everyone peek over at them. There’s a loud screech and a loud thump that follows as the others realize who they’re looking at.

“You’re back!” Hyunmin’s hug is so tight that Suhoon can feel his back breaking from the force. Just when he thinks he hears something crack, three more pairs of arms collide with them, pressing against his back, hair everywhere, laughter all over. It hasn’t even sunk in yet that he’s back, he’s visible, he’s not gone, after all.

“Hyung!” Everyone is shouting, Injoon is crying, Jihwan is trying not to cry, and Hyunchul is definitely laughing at them.

“We have our leader back!” Injoon sobs, his tears getting the back of his shirt wet. For some reason Suhoon can’t bring himself to care.

“I can’t believe it,” Hyunmin murmurs in his ear, pulling back just enough to clasp his hands around his cheeks and stare into his eyes for a long moment. There’s a light back in his eyes that Suhoon hadn’t realized disappeared. The wrinkles that had been slowly building on all of their faces are disappearing before his eyes, and when Hyunmin kisses him, pushing him back into Injoon and Jihwan as he does, he can feel his entire heart behind it, beating against the palm he has resting on his chest. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tastes salt in the kiss, and when he pulls back, the world is blurry.

“I’m back,” he says, even though he never left. He holds them all close, because they’re his family, and he doesn’t have to leave them, after all.

-

He’s feeling extra cheritable that evening, after he shocks the managers by reappearing and eats more than he’s eaten in months because Hyunmin was right, he is a little too bony. Hyunchul seems to agree because he doesn’t stop pushing food on his plate until he’s ready to die and never move again. He’s never been much of an eater before, but he’s pretty sure he’s never going to be hungry again.

He buys them all soju and pizza in the evening, and after language practice he even dances with Jihwan in the living room, although he falls off-beat and can’t really keep up because he gets a stitch in his side. He slaps Injoon on the butt and flops on Hyunmin on the couch and rests his head in his lap.

Hyunmin hums at him, his husky voice sounding like a hazy sort of smoke. Suhoon smiles and hums back. The comparison between their voices is ridiculous, but Hyunmin’s always been one of the best singers he’s ever heard.

Hyunmin tugs on his long ponytail of dark hair. It’d gotten ridiculously long while he’d been invisible. His bangs fell into his eyes and impaired his vision, tickled his skin and itched his neck, but even though it was annoying, he didn’t mind it because he could actually see it, finally.

He waves his freshly painted fingernails in Hyunmin’s face. “Like them?” Hyunmin squints at the little skullbunny figures on them. “I got them in Japan when we were there before.” He smiles, fondly. “I wanted to wait until I could see them again before I put them on.”

“Good idea, no one would want to miss those.” His voice drips with sarcasm. Suhoon punches him in the chest.

“Shut up, I have the best taste.” He sits up and straightens his shirt. “I’m going to shower,” he says.

In the bathroom, he takes a minute to stare at his reflection. He sheds his clothes slowly. His skin was paler than it’d ever been - he guesses that whatever dimension his body had run off to, the sun couldn't reach it, either. He counts his teeth and pressed his hands together. He flexes his arms and even the thin muscles are impressive to him. He counts the moles on his back and makes sure the birthmark behind his knee is still there. His eyes gleam at him from the light over the bathroom sink. His tongue is pink when he sticks it out at himself. He makes faces at himself for a good ten minutes and finally sits back and smiles at his reflection. He’d forgotten what his face looked like. He’d forgotten what his smile looked like, even. He turns away from the mirror and starts the tap. When he runs his fingers under the hot water, his skin comes away red. When he runs the cold, it gets goosebumps. He smiles and climbs in.

By the time he was done, everyone else is already in bed. He slips under the covers behind Hyunmin and kisses a line up the back of his neck to the soft spot behind the jawline, and up his ear. Hyunmin rolls over and presses their foreheads together, pulling him forward. “Welcome back,” he murmurs, opening his eyes.

“Thanks,” he whispers, tucking his head under his chin and letting his eyes slip closed.

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